


I don't want to fight this anymore

by ImaginaryDragons



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Homophobia, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena doubts herself a lot, Lillian is a horrible mom, light smut i guess???, supercorp endgame of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 22:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17516897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginaryDragons/pseuds/ImaginaryDragons
Summary: All of her life Lena has been fighting against something. Fighting against the Luthor name, fighting against Lillian, fighting to be seen as a person not as another evil Luthor. Now Lena is left fighting her feelings for Kara. She's terrified, terrified of hurting Kara and terrified of getting her heart broken again. Is she willing to keep fighting her feelings when fighting them is hurting Kara. There's only so much she's willing to fight and she draws the line at anything that hurts Kara.this is a bad summary but give it a shot





	I don't want to fight this anymore

**Author's Note:**

> just a warning I wrote this in two parts. I wrote the first version of this two years ago and am just now getting back around too it. So my writing style has changed some and that will probably show in this fic but hopefully the fic still makes sense.

From day one in the Luthor house she learned that she would have to fight; fight to be heard, to be cared for, fight to earn the name they had asked her to live up to. Before she had never had to fight, well she assumed she hadn’t. The memories of the time before the Luthor house were faded and blurry from time. Remembering her mother got harder with each day, remembering who she was before life had thrown her for a loop was near impossible. There was a feeling in her gut that told her that ever ended up feeling like she belonged like she did with Kara.

Her whole life she had been fighting to be seen as good enough to be called a Luthor, she fought to make herself worthy of the name that had been thrust upon her. Life as a Luthor was supposed to be easy, or at least that is how the media had seen it. Being rich was not as easy as people thought it was; she had the money she was hated though. Hated for her name, hated for her sexuality, hated for things that she could not understand when she was young. The world had branded her before she even knew who she was, and she would be fighting to change that for the rest of her life.

Fighting for what she had was difficult but it was what Lena knew that she needed to do, if she had to give up her happiness for the Luthor name she would. It was not a choice, because with the Luthor name she could help people she could try and make the world a better place. Making the world better may cost her everything that she cares for but it would help many more, and that was so much more important than her own happiness. The work and time it took to help people was worth it. No matter how many people spat at her she knew that she was a good person deep down. It was that fact that kept her going on her worst days, the days when she wished she had never been adopted she wished she would have been raised in an orphanage.

When she was in middle school she had her first crush, a girl named Eleanor an overly fancy name for a rich born child, it did not end well. Lena had become her friend, before she had realized her crush, and she had decided one fateful day that she would try and ask Ella out. That day she learned that people would hate her for her sexuality, people would hate her for something she could not change about herself. Even though at that time she believed that she could fight who she was, and her own sexuality. She thought that maybe she could just pretend to be the ‘normal’ child that Lillian wanted her to be. Ella had not only shot her down but she mocked her, soon the whole school knew; she was outed to the school and the teachers outed her to her mother.

Her mother was not at all pleased to find out that her adopted daughter was a lesbian, Lionel had accepted her after a few weeks of not knowing what to do. He had been surprised but he never had the same disdain that Lillian had for her. She missed him, missed having someone in the family that didn’t hate her. He had actually cared for her unlike Lillian. Coming home from boarding school that year had been living hell, especially when Lionel died only three weeks later, leaving her with a hateful mother. She was left with no one but Lex to lean on after that. Her older brother became her only real family. He was her rock in those moments when she felt like the world was crashing down around her. He was there with a shoulder to cry on, to tell her he cared what happened to her. Then suddenly he wasn’t there. 

It was a cruel twist of fate to see him change, he began to drift away. Leaving her to fend for herself and try to fight against Lillian's daily reminders of how useless she was, how she was not good enough to carry the Luthor name. It would be a lie if Lena said she had never found herself crying herself to sleep over it, over the hate that surrounded her at all angles. It became a necessity to fight to attack before she herself was attacked. It worked the same in business she would find her competitors flaws, figure out what their plan was and she would take them down and ensure that the outcome was in her favor rather than theirs.

In college she dated a girl named Jennifer or Jen for short; it was wild and passionate but mostly physical. It never really meant anything. if Lena was honest she knew that it had never been a good idea. Jen was different she was not warm nor was she cold she stood somewhere in the middle of the two, the relationship lasted a year. It was one of the longer relationships that Lena had been in, after that there were a few hook ups with random girls on campus. She had been called a womanizer once and it was near true at that time.

Then there was Terra, honestly Terra had ended up being Lena’s first love. She had fallen for the other girl slowly but surely. It was a rocky relationship not the happiest but it had been theirs;Terra had cared for her when her mother hated her, Terra had been there when Lex first started to spiral. The only thing was Terra had left her when Lex had gone completely mad. She had said that she needed a break from the media and everything, a break turned into a full break up though. It had left her in shambles alone with no comfort and no one around grounding her, she threw herself into her work. It was the loneliest she had ever felt. Then coming home to find Lillian acting as if nothing had happened after Lex was forcefully dragged from the home it was the final straw. She decided that day that she didn’t want to be like her family anymore. She didn’t want to live up to that version of the Luthor name. She wanted to change it, to change the family and to change their legacy. 

The day Lex was arrested the board decided to begin trying to find a replacement for him as ceo, It was unexpected. The last thing Lena had thought she would ever be was the ceo of Lex corp. Lex had been groomed for the role, she was just supposed to be the adopted child that made the family look good and kind. Yes she was a genius but she wasn’t a business genius. Lillian had fought to get the position, but somehow Lena ended up heading the company. It forced her to be even further in the spotlight; her heartbreak was pushed down and her pain locked away. It was the beginning of her fight for L-corp her fight for the family business to no longer represent an evil in the world but be a force for change, a force for good.

She was going to change the Luthor family, whether or not she had anyone else on her side, it didn’t matter, she was ready to fight to be a force of good in the world. Maybe she was trying to prove to herself that she could be better than her family, that she could do what none of the Luthors had done and change the world for the better. Or maybe she was just doing what she had to do to keep Lillian from becoming CEO. The thing was that the world was not particularly fond of her or the idea of another Luthor trying to change anything, no matter how good her plans or who she could help no one would trust her because of her last name. 

When she had seen Clark Kent in her office she remembered how he was so close to Lex how she had met him a few times; he used to be kind to her. Now now he would not be willing to give her the time of day unless he had something to gain from it. He had become just one more example of people who had turned on her after her brother fell into madness. That particular list seemed to be growing with every day. People used to stay near her and pretend to like her because of her last name; she never really had many true friends that didn’t care about the Luthor name, or the perks of being friends with a billionaire. Kara never cared though, Kara who decided to pay for lunch whenever she could, Kara who worried if she had eaten that day. 

Kara was different than anyone she had ever met, something about Kara just shown with a kindness that could not be found anywhere else. If anyone asked Lena, the girl of steel had nothing on Kara Danvers, then again Kara was the girl of steel. It had taken an embarrassing amount of time for Lena to figure it out, she had been jealous of the girl of steel at first. Jealous of how close Kara was to the hero, she had even thought that the two were dating at one point. After all isn’t grabbing coffee at 9pm code for hooking up. She had been unable to think that the same person that was so kind and caring to her was in fact a kryptonian. Not just a kryptonian but the cousin of the man who her brother had spent years trying to kill. How could Kara even stand to be in the same room as her? How could she trust her like she was? It just seemed so preposterous that a super would ever really care about her. 

For almost two months she had believed that her best friend was sleeping with supergirl and simply not telling her. Then it had all clicked one night, she had been thinking about Kara, not an uncommon occurrence, and suddenly the image of Kara in her head had shifted slightly not much but the glasses she wore were gone and her hair put down. It was impossible to deny all of the evidence that had piled up, the evidence that Kara was supergirl. To think that she had a crush on her best friends alter ego, not to mention her infatuation with Kara. She had drunkenly confronted Kara about dating supergirl but she could not remember what happened, she would imagine that Kara had stumbled over her words in the adorable way she always did, or maybe just blushed. She had been fighting her jealousy that night, fighting away her feelings for Kara, and for supergirl who she would soon find were the same person. She laughed at the memory now, she wondered if Alex ever brought it up to the blonde’s imbaracement.

Her whole life she had found something to fight, something to argue against, something to put her all into taking down. It was exhausting, she was so used to it; it was a challenge to be overcome and she thrived in challenges. The only problem was she found herself fighting her own happiness out of fear of hurting Kara, out of fear of getting hurt. She sat in her office drowning in those thoughts waiting for Kara to arrive, waiting to see the woman who was stealing her heart.

“Miss Luthor, Kara Danvers is here to see you,” her assistant harold came over the line.

“Send her right in” a small smile graced Lena’s lips at hearing that Kara had arrived.

“Lena, I brought some food cause I wasn’t sure that you had eaten and I also brought that thing you asked for” Kara had already started talking before she had even fully gotten through the door. 

“Fantastic so we are still on for our movie marathon tonight,” Lena said with a wide smile on her lips. She could not help but smile every time she saw Kara. 

“We are, so your place this time, right?” Kara sat the bags of food down on the table in front of the couch.

“I will make sure to get more fuzzy blankets so that we can snuggle,” Lena got up from her desk and sat down as close to Kara as she could. Something about being near Kara always put Lena at ease. 

“Fuzzy blankets! I love fuzzy blankets” Kara was near vibrating with joy, making Lena laugh at the sight. 

“ I know that is why I am buying more,” Lena’s voice was full of laughter as she opened her bag of food, Kara always set her bag to the left on the table so that Lena would not end up eating Kara’s food. 

“Any potstickers this time,” 

“No none for you! Not after the potsticker incident” Kara said defensively she was giving Lena a look reserved only for when she was prepared to defend her food.

“It was only one potsticker Kara,” Lena found herself smiling the said incident was when she had ended up eating the last potsticker.

“ ok ok, you still do not trust me but you know I could just buy you a restaurant,” Lena had tried this before just for Kara to tell her that she appreciated it but the money could be used to help someone else, it was one of the reasons Lena lov-- no liked Kara. 

“We have already been over this, and the answer is still no.” Kara was giving Lena a playful smile that made her heart skip a beat. She found herself hoping that Kara was not using her super hearing.

“I know I know i was just teasing Kara,” Lena scooted closer to where Kara was on the couch, to where their knees now touched. Lena relished the small touches the small brushes of their skin, she did not want to live without those.

“Ok, but really do not eat any of my potstickers” She was giving Lena what was no doubt meant t o be an intimidating glare but only looked adorable on Kara.

“ I solemnly swear that I will not eat any of your potstickers” Raising one hand and putting the other over her heart she mimicked an oath. Kara burst out laughing, the sound of Kara’s laughter made Lena’s heart skip a beat.

The sound of Kara’s laugh was as if sunshine itself had a sound, it made Lena smile infectiously it made the room brighter. If she had to swear off of potstickers for life then she would for Kara. Especially if it meant seeing Kara smile like that, Kara had a certain smile whenever she saw food that she really liked. Lena had never met anyone who liked food quite as much as Kara did but then again there was no one in the universe like Kara. It was easy to talk to Kara, it was easy to be near Kara, no pressure to be someone she was not. The last thing Kara would care about was a business proposition or gaining something for herself, no this was pure it was sweet and it was what she needed. 

She was friends with Kara, at first that word had been a blessing she finally had someone who would be there for her. Over time though it gained a sting, she knew she should not feel the sting from that word, but it did not help her push down her feelings for Kara. Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed that Kara was about to ask her something.

“Uhh uh, Lena, I um was wondering if maybe sometime you, only if you want to feel free to say no, would like to go like on a date with me?” Kara was chewing at her bottom lip nervously, it made Lena’s heart flutter. She tried to quell it but she could not imagine hurting Kara by saying no, even though she knew this was not going to end well.

In the second after Kara asked Lena's mind was a flurry with thought. If she said yes like she wanted then she would be putting Kara in danger. She would be in the public eye someone could figure out she’s supergirl. What if she closed herself off and broke Kara’s heart. But if she said no she would break Kara’s heart anyways. 

“If that is you asking me on a date then my answer has to be yes.” sometimes she let her heart win over her head, and with Kara that was happening a lot. This would end with her hurt and heartbroken, it would end with Kara just as broken as well. But if she didn’t say yes then she would regret it forever. She had to try and give them a chance. 

“You, you will, I didn’t really plan to far ahead I thought you would say no,” Kara ducked her head, it hurt Lena knowing that Kara had mustered up the courage to ask her out despite the fact that she believed that Lena would say no.

“I would love to go on a date with you Kara, just let me know when and where and I can make sure my schedule is free.” Lena smiled at Kara, trying to help calm Kara’s obvious nerves, the plan for staying away from Kara romantically was out the window. 

“Ok, I really should have thought this through more,” Kara whispered the last part to herself as she tried to shake off her embarrassment. She had been trying to figure out how to ask Lena out for the last two weeks. 

“It’s fine, Kara, don’t stress about it, we can figure out where to go and what to do later how about that,” Lena offered Kara a reassuring smile. Maybe Kara had not thought through the whole thing but how could Lena ever decide that was reason not to go out with Kara.

“You sure, cause if you don’t want to do this it’s ok, I will be fine.” Kara looked as if it would but Lena saw the flicker of fear in Kara’s eyes. Kara’s fear of rejection of being hated, she knew that fear all too well, especially growing up as a Luthor.

“When I said yes I meant it Kara, I want to go out with you. Kara I want this,” Lena put her hand over Kara’s and smiled knowing that at the moment Kara was bare and vulnerable and needed someone to be there.She so rarely saw Kara like that, Kara was an open person but she didn’t often put her heart on the line. 

She should have said no or walked away, she should never have let herself fall for Kara’s blue eyes and innocent smile. Lena knew that this was only going to end in heartbreak, she was going to lose her only friend, and she was going to break Kara along the way. It was inevitable the heartbreak the hatred it always came, she did not have the best track record with romance either. Her mind had been screaming at her to say no to deal with the immediate pain it would cause Kara and move forward, but her heart had screamed louder.

The past told her it was to easy to fall back into this, to fall into love, she could not let herself get broken by the promise of love. That promise always fell short the promise of love hurt her it left her broken and alone every time. How could she say yes how could she do this not only to herself but to Kara. Love was not something she embraced it was something she had to fight it was something that could not be conquered but it conquered her. It was a battle she had never been able to win but so she ran she fought every step of the way to get away from love to get away from the pain it brought with it.

It would likely take Kara till later that night to figure out where they would be going for their date, it being Kara after all it would likely be something fun bright cheery, like Kara. the thought would have made her cringe just a year ago but with Kara it felt fitting. Cliche that is what it was how she felt was cliche, how everything was cliche. With Kara for some reason cliche felt right, it should not feel like that, she hated it. It felt as if she was going down again, falling for someone again. The last time she had fallen in love it left her hurting and broken, reduced to a shadow until she found her ground once again and built herself back up.

After Kara left she decided to plunge back into her work and try to push of the feeling of dread and of certain pain that was going to follow. Hurting Kara was the last thing she wanted to do, hurting Kara would hurt her as well. The day was long she managed to get through two meetings and a pile of paperwork, before she finally decided that she needed to go home, she needed some rest and to get rid of some of her stress. 

A good binge watch would help her alleviate her stress, she needed to catch up on some episodes of game of thrones, but that would leave her more stressed that was not a feel good show at all. Kara would be able to give her a good show to watch to calm down. She pulled her phone out deciding that asking kara would be fine.

‘What show should i watch, I am overly stressed long day,’

‘Try parks & rec it is funny, and anything I can do to help?’

‘ no you are doing plenty thanks Kara’

‘Any time’

She had thought that she would watch maybe five episodes at most but the next thing she knew she was ten episodes in and texting Kara about each part she liked. A bright or not so bright idea popped into her head, Kara could come over, they could figure out the date and watch tv. It would be relaxing and she would be able to snuggle with Kara as they watched, she would deny it if anyone asked, but she loved snuggling with Kara. It would not help her push away the feelings she had about Kara, but maybe she could let her walls down for a while and be around Kara. What was the worst that could happen, she was already falling for Kara it was far too late to stop it. One movie night would not make it worse, maybe it would help her sort her feelings out and figure out what she was going to do.

She shot Kara a text, and began pulling out various foods, she had learned early on in their friendship that Kara was always hungry. It was best to keep food around for her at all times, just in case she needed to eat. It did not take long to get a text back from Kara saying that she was on her way. That gave Lena about fifteen minutes before Kara would be there, she felt butterflies in her stomach. By that point she should have been used to being around Kara, but yet every time someone mentioned her name she smiled, every time she invited Kara somewhere she felt nerves.

Kara made her feel something she had never felt before with anyone, not Terra, not the girls in college, Kara left her out of her element. Lena was used to being able to understand her feelings be able to control them on some level, and keep herself safe but for some reason she could not do that with Kara. Things were different with Kara, the world was different when Kara was around, it was a happier place a better place. The world was bright warm and welcoming when Kara was around. Being with Kara it made the world feel more open, more colorful. The world felt right when Kara was with her.

The tell tale sound of Kara knocking at the door rang through the apartment, Kara always knocked with a rhythm Lena found it adorable, she got up and headed to the door. She ran a hand down her shirt to flatten it out and checked her reflection before opening the door.

“Kara, come on in,” Her heart sped up at the sight of Kara, even in laid back clothes Kara could still take Lena’s breath away. Her face was wiped clean of make up and she looked like she had just gotten out of the shower. If anyone asked then Lena would say that Kara was the most beautiful thing in the universe.

“ so we are watching parks and rec or are we watching some horror movie that you are tricking me into watching,” Kara was joking after the horror movie debacle that Lena would never live down. Alex had told her that Kara liked horror movies, apparently the oldest Danvers had lied to her. 

“I apologized for that, you said you would not mention it again Kara.” Lena retorted half teasingly and half embarrassed, she and Kara made their way to the couch, Lena had set up some food in front of them already. She knew that Kara would already be hungry.

“Ok,ok, I won’t bring it up again, we are watching parks and rec though right?” Kara reached forward and grabbed one of the bowls. Lena was hoping that Kara would not notice that she was actually eating healthy snack foods and not her usual unhealthy snacks.

Kara scooted closer to Lena as they started the show, Lena had paused it after texting Kara. Lena allowed her head to rest on Kara’s shoulder, she could feel every breath Kara took, it was distracting and soothing at the same time. She did not want to move from Kara’s embrace, it made her feel almost at home. Letting herself relax into Kara she focused on the show trying to block out the beating of her heart and the way it felt to be so close to Kara.

“Lena I was thinking, and I don’t know if this is your thing or if it is not so it is fine if you don’t like it,” Kara was rambling and had pulled herself back from Lena some as she began trying to make vague hand motions.

“Kara, slow down, and talk whatever it is I am sure I will love it,” Lena said smiling and calming Kara from her anxiety.

“Ok, so I was thinking for our date, it would be nice to go somewhere outside, and I know it's cliche but there is this movie in the park thing that is gonna be going on tomorrow and I was wondering if you would like to go to that?” Kara was nervous despite Lena’s reassurance.

“I would love to, what should I bring and what time will you be picking me up?” Lena was smiling, as soon as she had said yes Kara seemed to relax and move closer to Lena, the fear that had been in Kara’s eyes was completely gone. 

“That is great, really great,” Kara said awkwardly fidgeting, around, Lena found herself looking at Kara’s lips, and trying to think of something other than how it would feel to kiss Kara.

“Come here and snuggle I am cold,” Lena reached out her hands and pulled Kara closer to her to where she was wrapped around the blonde, Kara’s body heat was useful when she was cold not so much on hot days though.

“Mmhm snuggles are good,” Kara scooted closer to Lena.

“They are, now watch the show,” Lena said. 

They watched for awhile, and she was not sure when but at some point she ended up with her hand in Kara’s. After the usual four or was it five episodes netflix automatically stopped, Kara moved forward to get the remote, and knocked Lena over some. Kara switched directions and caught Lena her face hovering just above Lena’s. The need to kiss Kara was back and stronger, and this time she didn’t fight it.

Lena pulled Kara down some, giving Kara time to pull back if she wanted to, and leaned in closer. Their lips met gently at first, it was soft and experimental they were both scared of doing something wrong that the other did not want. She felt as if she never wanted to kiss another pair of lips besides Kara’s. One kiss and she was spoiled, she was not going back from it, the feel of Kara so close to her. They pulled away and looked at eachother not a word passing between them, then she pulled Kara back in for another kiss this one rougher and deeper, their lips moving against each other. It only took a moment of her pulling down on Kara before the both of them fell onto the floor from the couch.

“Ow,” Lena’s back hit the floor with a thud, and pain, she would probably have bruise the next day.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to” Kara said sheepishly she was still hovering above Lena slightly, her hair falling around the other woman’s face.

“I am the one that pulled you down further Kara,” Lena said her voice was light and she was smiling, it felt different, she felt lighter after having kissed Kara. 

“We should uh, get back on the couch huh?” Kara said, she was nervous and smiling cutely, as if she was not sure exactly what she needed to do. All Lena could think of was how adorable Kara was when she was nervous. 

“That’s a good idea, mind helping me up,” Lena extended her hand, and Kara pulled her up and the two moved back to snuggling on the couch, neither of them sure what to say at the moment.

They spent three hours watching tv before Kara had to go, she had supergirl business to finish. They would have to pick back up another day. Honestly she wished that Kara had stayed that they would have woken up on the couch the next morning, having fallen asleep in each other's arms while watching tv. It made her angry she felt almost weak as she knew exactly what was happening, she hated that she could not just shut it off but then again she was enjoying it. Being close to Kara, being romantic with Kara, it would not hurt her, or at least that is what her heart was trying to convince her of. Her head and her heart were at war, one telling her to push Kara away the other telling her to pull Kara closer.

She knew better than this, better than saying yes, better than inviting Kara over, but she did anyways because she needed it she let her heart win and she needed Kara. She needed the comfort and the assurance that someone did not hate her. Lena stood shaking the thoughts from her head they sounded far too much like something Lillian would have told her. Some days it was hard to change her thinking from the hat that Lillian had ingrained, it made her fear for those around her, what if one day she became like Lillian, what if she became that bitter and cruel. 

It would hurt Kara if she did, she could imagine how Kara would stay by her side no matter what taking anything she threw, because Kara would believe in her believe that she would be better. Doing that to Kara would be a nightmare come true, and the horrible part about it was just how accurate it was. Sweet and kind Kara would never let Lena fall for her own hate and self doubt not without trying to help and trying to help would just get Kara hurt. 

Lillian had broken her when she was young and no matter what she did now she still felt broken still felt as if she could never be enough. Her self hatred would be the death of her or that is what she had thought years ago .She had overcome it fought her way through it was still there deep down. That hate made her look at everything like it was her enemy it made her doubt every move that anyone made, but that hate had not been able to take her love for Kara away. It could never figure out how Kara was so kind or why the reporter did the things she did. That was why Lena had become so protective of Kara’s feelings, because she knew they were genuine. 

Finding someone who was like Kara would be impossible. Kara had suffered more pain than anyone would ever know and yet Kara had the brightest smile.She had the best heart of anyone Lena had ever met. Kara was a genuine hero she cared for everyone and everything. Kara was by far the kindest person that Lena had met and she was the only person that had looked at her and seen more than just her last name. 

Lena got herself together and began heading in for the night changing into one of the t-shirts that she had ‘borrowed’ from Kara. It still smelled like Kara, like flowers and sunshine, she was pretty sure that somehow Kara was made of flowers and sunshine. The scientist in Lena said that was not possible but when Kara smiled or touched her hand it felt like the only explanation for someone so amazing. Letting her exhaustion from the day take over she fell asleep, it was neither calm or peaceful though. 

 

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“Lena, wait what are you doing,” Kara was pleading with her, trying to get her to turn back and stop this madness. Kara’s voice was cracking in that way it does before she would fall to pieces. 

“This is what I need to do Kara, there is no other option,” she was back in front of the medusa rocket, except this time it was different her mother was not there, it was only her and Kara. It was all on her back, all of the blood was on her hands, even Kara’s.

Kara was chained to the ground she was hurt there was blood on her lip, and a she was leaning to one side as if she had a broken rib, Lena wanted to run to Kara to let her go to help her. It was as if she had no control over her body, she could not stop the words coming from her mouth or the way Kara flinched back with each one. It was like each time she tried to move the invisible force that held her in place just pushed her back further into herself. This was not a battle she wanted to lose, and it seemed to be the battle that would be impossible to win as well.

She wanted to shout to tell Kara this was not her, tell Kara to run to get away she would beat this, Kara did not need to get hurt. She had no control over her body as she turned and slapped Kara across the face, she could feel the wicked grin that had surfaced. Lena was screaming or at least trying to as whatever had control of her body laughed at Kara. She wanted to break down to beg for Kara to be let go. Hero or not Kara was getting hurt, and Lena was the one doing it, or at least it was Lena’s body.

With another swing of Lena’s fist, a second punch landed solidly on Kara’s left cheek, knocking her back. Kara had no powers, no powers she could be truly hurt she could get killed. The thought alone would have sent shivers down Lena’s spine and she could have sworn she almosts felt them. Kara was laying on the ground and she knew for a fact that the tears on Kara’s cheeks were not from pain, it was heartbreak. The look on Kara’s face was pure heartbreak, no disappointment no fear just pain and heartbreak. Disappointment would have been easier to deal with, she was used to disappointment, she got plenty of that from the Luthors.

“Lee please, don’t do this give them mercy, Lee,” Kara’s voice was pleading her eyes full of tears. 

“Why would i give you any mercy supergirl, you don’t deserve any and they certainly don’t deserve any either.” her body turned and she could then see the people surrounding the people and the aliens the ones who were going to die because of her.

“This isn’t you Lena, you are better than this,” Kara struggled against her restraints trying to get closer to Lena as she spoke.

The laugh that bubbled from Lena’s thought was sickening enough to make anyones stomach twist. It was a cruel sound hopeless and one of pure spite, nothing like what Lena usually sounded like. She wanted to scream out to run away and hope it all fell away it felt so real but yet it felt like she was in something out of a twisted and sick nightmare. It was not her she knew that, but yet it still felt like it was her. 

There was a gun, in her coat pocket, she had not noticed it before but it swayed on her. She knew what the gun was for, it was meant for Kara, she was going to hurt Kara. she felt herself move to grab the gun, it was cold in her hand, she wanted to cry knowing what was about to happen. The cold steel of the gun felt like a icey fire in her hands, her finger curled around the trigger and pulled.The echo of the gunshot rang in her ears, and the scream of pain that ripped itself from Kara’s mouth left her shaken to her core.

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She woke covered in sweat, and with a scream ripping out of her mouth, she had shot Kara, sweet Kara who did nothing but protect and care for her. The simple thought of hurting Kara made her stomach churn, and to kill Kara made her want to throw up. Jumping out of bed she decided that she needed to know that Kara was alright, it was a split second decision and she would likely regret it later once the sun rose but she needed to know. She grabbed the nearest pair of sweatpants and slipped them on before grabbing her purse. She checked to make sure that the taser was in there before leaving, she was not about to risk leaving without it.

Calling her driver was out of the question especially at 2am, so she would have to drive herself. She knew the way to Kara’s apartment by memory she had been there enough times, for movie nights with Kara and later for game nights with the rest of the super friends. Lena despite all of her cold facade, actually loved that time she spent with them, the time spent with people who actually cared not about her name, but about her. 

The ride was quiet only a few people were out at that time of night, most of them noticed the overly expensive car driving by, she only hoped that no one recognised it and followed her. Pictures of her driving to Kara’s apartment would wind up in the press if she was spotted, and they would either assume she was sleeping with Kara or there was something more sinister going on. When she was younger the assumption was that she was headed for some late night booty call, but after Lex everything she did would be considered part of an evil plan. 

Pulling the car to a stop outside of Kara’s apartment building she looked for a good place to park, she had to park down the street since the parking lot was full. It was just her luck to try and see Kara the one day that the usually empty parking lot had no space. It was cliche but she hated walking alone at night despite knowing how to fight and the taser she was scared on some level. Then again on some level she was always scared, there was always a chance of getting attacked or hurt or worse at any given moment. Maybe a year ago she would not have cared, back then she tended to not care if she lived or died, she never pushed to get herself killed but she often had nothing to live for. Things had changed since then, she had grown in herself and she had changed, becoming stronger. 

She walked quickly trying to keep an eye out, looking for any sign of her mother's thugs, or anyone else. Maybe it was her being paranoid. It had been weeks since the last time her mother had sent anything after her, hopefully she had given up on Lena. It was not likely but she was enjoying the short reprieve from her mother’s attempts on her life. Picking up her pace she made it inside the building, there was no security and practically nothing that would stop her from just waltzing in, which is exactly what she did. She came up to Kara’s door, nerves were starting to accumulate in her, what was she going to say, ‘sorry to bother you but I murdered you in a dream and now I want to make sure you are alright’ that was not a great way to start a conversation. 

Standing outside the door was probably considered creepy, but she was not sure what to do, her courage was near gone, but she had gotten that far, she was at Kara’s door just one knock and Kara would answer as always. No matter the time or if Kara was busy she always answered the door for Lena, maybe Kara just refused to be rude and ignore Lena, or maybe it was something else. She was about to turn on her heel and leave try and get some sleep, even if she did not know if Kara was ok. The door to Kara’s apartment opened and Kara gently grabbed Lena’s shoulder. It startled her, and caused her to turn around quickly and reach her hand into her purse prepared to pull out her taser, noticing it was Kara though she relaxed some.

“Lena, what’s going on, is something wrong are you in danger, what is it?” Kara was becoming her inside before Lena could even understand the words coming from Kara’s mouth.

“I know it is dumb, but I needed to see you, to know you are ok.” Her voice was fragile giving away all of the emotion she was trying to push back and hide. Kara saw right through her facade of strength and she was not about to let Lena suffer alone.

“That’s not dumb, sometimes when I have my worst nightmares I will fly all the way to midville to make sure Eliza is ok, or I will go see Alex, when we get scared we try to make sure that those we care about are ok, and there is nothing wrong with that.” Kara pulled her over to the couch and gently got Lena to sit next to her, with in a moment she had covered both her and Lena in a blanket.

“I was scared you would be gone,” gone was the voice of a confident ceo, what was left was a fragile and scared woman who had been through more trauma than most.

“I told you before, I will always be here for you,” Kara said, she was under the impression that the nightmare had been about Kara abandoning Lena.

“You didn’t leave, you died,” Lena allowed a sob to escape her, Kara wrapped her in her arms and pulled the other woman closer.

“Oh, Lena, I’m right here it’s going to be ok, I’m right here.” Kara was rubbing soothing circles on Lena’s back as she whispered comfort into her ear.

“I-I I-I hurt you, I hurt you Kara.” she was choking on the guilt and the pain that the dream had brought her. If Kara was at all scared of taken aback by Lena’s admission she did not show it.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Kara bit her lip not sure what to expect from Lena, she seemed to want and need to talk about the dream but yet Lena was hesitant to say anything about it.

“I yeah, that that, may help.” Lena said, she was nestled into Kara’s embrace her head resting on Kara’s chest.

“Ok, so what happened in the dream?” Kara was not sure where to start or what to do, she had usually been the one being comforted after bad dreams but she was going to do her best to help Lena.

“It started off looking like the day with the whole medusa virus thing, and it was like i could not control my own body, something else was in control of me and I hated it. I had to watch Kara,” she choked on her words and flung herself back into Kara’s arms, as fear and guilt took over once again.

“Shhhh, I got you, I got you, nothing is going to hurt you while I am here,” Kara whispered it into Lena’s ear while holding the other woman close to her.

“The thing is, it wasn’t me who got hurt, I was the one who hurt people Kara,” Lena was crying into Kara’s arms, she felt guilty and scared that Kara would judge her. That was not in Kara’s nature though, she doubted Kara had a bone in her body that would hate her for a dream but the fear still remained.

“It wasn’t you, you said you had no control of your body, didn’t you” Kara said she had a hint of doubt in her voice, she was not sure if what she was saying was helping of just making things worse.

“I couldn’t it was like no matter how hard I tried or screamed nothing would happen I was locked inside my own body.” her voice was stronger than it had been moments before, Kara wanted to let out a breath of relief, she had been terrified her words were just making things worse.

“It wasn’t real, it wasn’t you it wasn’t your fault Lena, what ever happened it is not your fault you had no control.” Kara was holding Lena tight praying that she was helping.

“I killed you Kara, in the dream I shot you, before I woke up. I wanted to stop Kara, I wanted her to stop but she wouldn’t I mean I wouldn’t. It was all so confusing Kara.” Lena was holding onto Kara as if she was a lifeline,, the only thing keeping her together as she spoke. 

“It wasn’t you, I know it wasn’t you and so do you.” The utter belief in Kara’s voice was almost enough for Lena to believe herself. 

“It wasn’t and I know, but I’m scared Kara, scared that I will become like that; that one day I would be willing to hurt you.” All of her walls had fallen away, any excuse any cover was gone, as the real reason that Lena was scared emerged.

“You will not hurt me, I know you and I know you are not like your family you are a good person. No matter what you are a good person.” 

Kara continue to whisper reassurances into Lena’s ear as she stifled sobs, letting the pain of the past out. Holding the other woman to her she gently rubbed Lena’s back until she felt Lena still some, over half an hour since she had started. Lena fell asleep in Kara’s arms tears still staining her face, the emotions of the last few hours having spilled out and had left her exhausted. Lena’s soft breathing made Kara smile, maybe she should not have been happy, but she felt closer to Lena. A new door had been opened between them and another one of Lena’s walls had been taken down. 

She felt for Lena, her fear of herself, her fear of becoming like her family. It was far too easy to become what one hated the most. Kara had seen that first hand with Astra she had seen that with other villains. Lena would not be like that, she was good to her core, there was no part of her that would ever wanted to hurt an innocent. Kara was brought out of her thoughts as Lena shifted in her arms, obviously not comfortable on the couch where they were. Kara was more used to how it felt, but Lena was more accustomed to expensive and comfortable things, although Lena would never complain about any of the less expensive things.

Carefully she extracted herself from Lena’s arms and stood up, gently she slipped her arms under Lena and picked her up. She carried Lena to her bedroom like she was carrying fine china, scared that she would hurt Lena or wake her. She set the raven haired woman on the bed and slipped the covers over Lena. She turned back not wanting to invade Lena’s space by staying in the room, and she set herself up on the couch. Covering herself in the blanket and letting the days events and exhaustion wash over her she closed her eyes.She fell asleep listening to Lena’s heartbeat, knowing that Lena was safe from harm. 

Lena woke up from what had to be some of the best sleep she had in awhile, she was not in her own bed that was painfully obvious.Looking around she quickly figured out that she was in Kara’s bed, she must have fallen asleep on the couch and Kara must have brought her in here. Of course Kara would not sleep in the bed, not without Lena specifically asking her to do so. It made her smile, after all how could she be mad at Kara for trying to respect her space. Lena got up and stretched a bit before quietly walking out of the room. Kara was likely still asleep, she enjoyed sleeping later on weekends. 

Quietly she walked past Kara hoping that Kara would not be disturbed, after everything Kara had done for her the night before she wanted to try and repay some of that kindness. She had spent enough time at Kara’s apartment to know her way around Kara’s kitchen, so she got to work. She enjoyed cooking even when she was young, Lillian always stayed away from the kitchen not wanting to be seen with the help as she called them. Lena was different though she watched them work and sometimes when she was lucky they would show her a bit of what they were doing and how they did it. 

She moved around quickly finding what she needed, Kara did not have much to use for cooking. Luckily she did have all of ten eggs, and enough other ingredients that Lena would be able to make an omelet well knowing Kara’s appetite it would have to be at least four or five. She was as silent as she could be as Kara slept so close to where she was, every few minutes she would look back over to the angel sleeping on the couch. She put the finishing touches on the omelets, putting one aside for herself, hoping that her breakfast would not end up with Kara. It was near impossible to stop Kara when she was hungry. 

Walking over to the couch a small smile was on her face, as she saw how peaceful Kara was. For someone who held the weight of two worlds on her shoulders she was incredible, she was more than incredible she was astounding. Lena gently started attempting to shake Kara awake, it only took a few moments for Kara to perk up some and let out a whine of discontent at being awoken. 

“Kara do you want breakfast or not because it is getting cold,” Lena knew that the mention of food would get Kara up and running for the kitchen, and seeing as Kara bolted right up at the words she was correct.

“Food, like you went out and got food you didn’t have to do that Lena,” Kara smiled softly.

“Actually I cooked us some omelettes. I made you four I can make more for you if you need it.” Lena smiled back as she stood and walked back towards the kitchen sitting at the island where her food was and waited for Kara to join her.

“You made me food, you are amazing. You know you’re my favorite,” Kara was already beginning to dig into her food as she spoke, the sight of Kara with half an omelet stuffed in her mouth made Lena laugh.

“Well if it means I will continue to be your favorite I guess I will just have to keep making you food,” Lena joked back as she ate. 

The two talked as the continued Kara occasionally would let out a satisfied noise when she took a bite. She would be lying if she said her mind wasn’t going into the gutter with each noise Kara made. The sight warmed her heart and made it beat just a bit faster. She could see this happening again, mornings after and breakfasts in bed, going out to breakfast and snuggling on a couch. The night before had changed something, it made something click in her head. 

“Lena, is something wrong you have this thinky look on your face.” Kara still had sleep in her eyes, it seemed that in the mornings that Kara was not quite as good with her words as she was when fully awake. Lena had assumed that Kara was naturally a morning person it was a pleasant surprise to see that Kara was just as human as her when it came to waking up early. 

“Thinky face huh?” Lena arched an eyebrow and smiled, she knew what Kara was talking about but she could not resist teasing her over it. The huff that came from Kara was enough to tell her that the blonde was at least slightly embarrassed by her choice of words.

“You know what I mean,” Kara crossed her hands and attempted to scowl at Lena, it only made her smile widen.

“ It’s nothing really,” Lena answered still smiling as she took a bite of her own food, Kara had already scarfed down at least four of the omelette, she would probably have to make some more to keep up with Kara’s appetite.

“Nothing huh, that wasn’t your nothing face.” It was Kara’s turn to be stern as she simply looked Lena straight on.

“I was just thinking about some stuff but it is honestly nothing big,” Lena put her hand over Kara’s, and squeezed slightly. The action calmed Kara some as she began to smile and look back at her food once again. 

With the question answered Kara was back to eating her breakfast with no problems, Lena had not shared a breakfast with someone for any reason besides business in a long time. She missed it, missed being around someone in the morning for no other reason that the company. It was one of the small things of life that she missed out on far too often, she would say it was part of being a CEO but she knew that was not true; it was part of being a Luthor and specifically Lena Luthor. Lex and Lionel before her had both had an easier time and even Lillian were often more well liked than her. It stung to know that she out of all of the Luthors had been singled out by the world to be hated, and for nothing more than being adopted by the Luthors. That seemed to be one part of her that no one would look over, Kara was the only person who seemed to accept her with it and with all of her baggage. 

“Lena, you know you didn’t have to make me breakfast.” Kara said snapping Lena out of her thoughts as she put away her dishes. Kara reached out and grabbed Lena’s empty plate from where it was in front of her.

“I wanted to do it for you, and besides do you think I am going to trust you to make my breakfast after I found out you only cook with heat vision.” Lena was adamant about not risking eating anything that was cooked with heat vision until she could run proper tests on the food. She was not about to eat something that Kara had irradiated.

“ so you won't let me cook for you until you get to run tests on my heat vision and overall cooking skills then?” Kara had refused the last time taking offence that Lena would doubt her abilities. 

“That is what I have been telling you every time that you have tried to convince me to let you cook.” Lena was smiling she walked up behind Kara having grabbed the cups from the counter, setting them down in the sink she found herself with the urge to wrap her arms around Kara’s torso, just to feel the other woman in her arms. 

“Maybe one day I will convince you,” Kara turned around smiling that megawatt smile that could melt even the hardest hearts.

“One day, the day you let me run the tests.” Lena answered back, she walked over to the couch she was not quite sure what to do with herself. 

“Ok, ok, changing the subject, do you want to watch a movie, there is this really good one that reminded me of you,” Kara jumped onto  
" the couch next to Lena smiling.

“What movie?” Lena leaned into Kara, who instinctively wrapped her arms around Lena and pulled her in. Lena rested her head on Kara’s shoulder, Kara felt like home, home it had been so long since anything had actually felt like home.

She missed that feeling, missed having a real home. With her mother, her biological mother and Lex when he had bene himself before he had lost his mind, he had been like home to her. One day maybe she and Kara could be that, they could live together could have a future. It would be a lie if she said she had never allowed her mind to wander before; to come up with ideas of a perfect life. A perfect life that would be something, and a Luthor and a Super getting married that seemed like a ridiculous idea, although it was not an insane idea not anymore months ago it would have been.

They spent the most of the morning cuddled together watching an overly cheesy scifi film that Kara had found. In all of her years Lena had never laughed so much or wanted to be held by someone so much, the feeling was something she had never had before. She wanted to keep feeling it and feeling it with Kara. Her heart was melting with the idea to be like that with Kara, to have something stable. By lunchtime she had to leave, Kara had to run for a story, she had said that Lena could stay but she figured that she could get ready for their date ahead of time.

Closing the door behind her she, took out the spare key Kara had given her months back and locked it behind her. When she left the building she found her car parked just where she had left it, she had a fear that her car would get stolen at some point and especially in this neighborhood. It was a nice day thankfully if it began raining or a storm came in then their movie in the park would be canceled. They would probably just end up going to dinner if it was but she knew that Kara would be disappointed.

She waved to her door man as she entered her apartment building a genuine smile on her face, it had been a long time since she had felt that happy. Her footsteps were lighter as she walked into her apartment,the weight that had been on her had lifted some over the last few hours, and it left her feeling better than she had in years. With everything that had happened in the last few hours, it seemed more simple, it felt safer. 

Walking into her bedroom she turned on the lights and flicked on the tv, as always it was set to the news, She was going to have to watch it as she got ready, she had to keep up with the current goings on in order to stay ahead in business and to make sure she stood on the right side with the media. Going through her closet she found herself feeling the build up of butterflies in her stomach, she was nervous. Even though she had been with Kara most of the day, and had spent the last night at her apartment she still found herself becoming nervous. THis was their first official date after all, it seemed like they had been on dates before, lunches dinners, nights in. 

The outfit was the hardest part for her to figure out, she had changed at least ten times before she decided on her third choice. It was a casual but still made her look good, she had chosen a pair of skinny jeans that hugged her curves, and a low cut shirt. She had noticed how Kara’s eyes always managed to flicker down when she wore something low cut. It was all planned out, it was going to be a simple date, not something over the top or extremely extravagant, it would be her and Kara. THat is all she wanted, it was not about business of getting a leg up in the world, this was about them not anything else. 

“Lena, are you here, You weren’t answering the door. I hope it’s ok that I came in.” Kara’s voice echoed down the hall, she had been to caught up in her thoughts that she did not even hear Kara at the door. 

“I didn’t hear you at the door, I’m so sorry,” Lena was speaking before she had even left her room to greet Kara, she knew that Kara would be able to hear her anyways. Lena walked out the door to her room Kara was standing in the hallway.

“You don’t have to---” Kara couldn’t finish her sentence, as she was left speechless trying ot take in the sight that was Lena Luthor in casual clothes, Lena rarely if ever wore anything casual.

“See something you like,” Lena raised and eyebrow and smirked, in the way that made Kara go weak in the knees. Lena knew what she was doing, and she knew the effect that she had on Kara.

“You look,just uh wow,” kara rubbed the back of her neck trying to seem nonchalant. 

“Just uh wow, that is high praise.” Lena leaned to the side onto the wall, a smile gracing her face, she could see the blush making it’s way up Kara’s cheeks. It was far too easy for her to tease Kara, and she rather enjoyed making the blonde blush. 

“Why do you always tease me like this?” Kara huffed out, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You are adorable when you get flustered, now are we going to go to the park or not?” Lena strutted forward passing by Kara and gently brushing their hands together as she did so, she knew what she was doing, the butterflies from earlier were dissipating slowly with Kara’s arrival. 

“Yes we are, let's go ahead then.” Kara was already catching up with Lena’s steps, she had a goofy smile on her face, the kind that came when Kara was genuinely happy. It was the type of smile that made the world light up, it was the smile that came with laughter and nights in.

“I am driving,” Lena stated as she grabbed her car keys off of the kitchen counter, despite all of her trust in Kara, she had just spent a good thirty minutes doing her hair she was not going to have that ruined by Kara flying them. 

Heading down to the lobby at some point their hands had found their way into each others, it was a domestic thing that Lena had not had in forever. When they got into the car they chatted about how Kara had been working on a new story, it was one that could possibly make the front page if Kara played her card right. Lena could not be prouder of it. The ride was quick, the park was only a few miles from Lena’s apartment. It was dark out already, and the weather had not gotten bad, the night was all set. Lena had not realized how nervous she was that some storm or random weather occurrence would ruin the night. All thought there was still the possibility of supervillain or monster attacking. 

When they got out of the car, Lena found herself feeling a warmth in her stomach, the kind that spread through her body and made her smile brighter than she had in awhile. This was real, it was real, and it was not going to run away, she did not have to fight against Kara for this, for this happiness. It felt right being there, holding Kara’s hand in her own, she leaned her head into Kara’s shoulder as they walked. She could feel each of Kara’s breaths, it was soothing, the smell of Kara it was everything she had tried to fight off. Lena was carrying blankets for them to sit on, and Kara had dan oversized picnic basket that was no doubt filled with copious amounts of food. 

They were going to be watching beauty and the beast, the original animated one, Lena had never seen any of the disney movies as a child. Kara had said that this one was one of her favorites and she just had to watch it, it had been the first movie night together. There was no doubt Kara had chosen this night for that specific reason, it was sweet and it was more than anyone had remembered about her before. Kara had remembered how much it had meant to her that Kara took the time to show her what she had missed to enjoy her company, not just her money or her fame, like those before had. 

The two chose a spot near the center, there were at least one hundred people that had shown up, it was more than Lena had thought. She had believed that it was not going to be more than maybe fifty people, but then agian national city was a big city, she should have known better. Kara could sense Lena getting uncomfortable with all of the people that kept sending glances her way.

“You ok, I know you don’t like being out in public without security.” Kara knew it was because of all of the attempts on her life, she had become more paranoid of everyone and she hated that. 

“I’m fine, I shouldn’t be this paranoid by simply going out, there is nothing I should be worrying about, except for the beautiful woman next to me.” Lena tilted her head dup and kissed Kara on the cheek leaving the reporter blushing. 

“I am always going to protect you, even if it's just protecting you from getting started at by strangers.” Kara was half joking, but also trying to reassure Lena, that she was there, no matter what she needed protecting from. 

“Thank you,” the words were whispered, as Kara turned her head and leaned in closer to Lena, who ran her hand along Kara’s jaw line pulling her lips closer to Lena’s own. They met in a gentle but yet passionate clashing of lips. 

Pulling back Kara rested her forehead on Lena’s, she shifted to lean in closer to Lena so that they were resting against each other. For once Kara could care less about the food that was waiting, she was enraptured by the smile on Lena’s face and the way that the weight on Lena’s shoulders had seemed to disappear. It was what she wanted, it was what they both wanted. The movie began with the usual disney opening, Lena had seen this movie all of two times before both of which with Kara. She could not tell if she liked it or if she just loved the company, or maybe it was a mixture of both. 

The movie seemed to both pass in a blur and go on forever. Of course she enjoyed it, but she also couldn’t help but wish that it was just her and Kara. So many times during the movie she wished that she could just kiss Kara. Well she wanted to do more than just kiss Kara. She didn’t want to get Kara thrown out of the movie, or banned from coming back. Lena wasn’t exactly sure if that could or would happen but she didn’t want to risk it; she knew how much Kara loved coming here. 

Being in Kara’s arms made everything else fade away. All that pain all of the loss alla of her fears melted away. She snuggled further into Kara’s arms and let herself fully relax. The movie became background noise to Lena, what she was really focused on was Kara. The sound of Kara’s heart beat the feeling of being so close. She tried to focus on the movie she really did but she just couldn’t. Not with Kara’s arms wrapper around her. When the movie ended and Kara went to get up Lena found herself wishing that they could’ve stayed wrapped in each others arms forever. Lena didn’t want the date to be over. She wanted it to go on. 

When Kara offered Lena her hand to help her up she accepted. Kara miscalculated the strength needed to pull Lena up though, and Lena ended up being almost flung into Kara’s arms. Lena could tell that Kara was about to apologize, so rather than let Kara apologize she kissed her. It was short and sweet and it left Kara with a blush. Lena helped Kara pack up everything, even their food (Kara had eaten almost half of it throughout the movie). 

They slowly made their way to Lena’s car neither of them were in a rush for the date to be over. Kara paused as Lena got into her car. Lena took it as her chance. “Would you like to come back to my apartment with me?” it came out uncharacteristically nervous. She could feel her heart pounding she was terrified that Kara would think she was trying to push her into moving faster when in reality she just wanted more time to be around Kara. 

“Yes I’d like that.” Kara said with a smile, Lena almost let out a breath of relief as Kara got into the car. 

The ride was tense, neither of them exactly knew what to say or do. Lena was worried about making things awkward, well more awkward and Kara was worried about messing things up. 

When they finally arrived at Lena’s building Lena felt like her heart was in her throat. As Kara stepped out of the car Lena decided to let her nerves speak for her. “Are you sure you want to come with me Kara? You know you don’t have to it’s fine if you want to go back home.” 

“No I want to be here with you.” Kara said with more confidence than she had ever heard from Kara before. Kara stepped forward and pulled Lena in for a passionate kiss. She nipped at Lena’s bottom lip making Lena open her mouth just enough for Kara to deepen the kiss. Kara backed Lena up to where they were pressed against the wall. She could feel Kara’s hand on her back. Lena hesitantly pulled away knowing that if she didn’t stop Kara now they would end up making quite the scene. 

“At least wait till we get into my apartment Kara.” Lena did her best to sound confident, it was rather hard to do when she was out of breath.

Lena took Kara’s hand and lead her into the elevator and up to her apartment. The two were on each other as soon as the elevator doors closed. They barely made it into her penthouse before Kara ripped open Lena’s shirt. When Kara pushed her up against the wall Lena was sure that it left a dent in the wall. Usually she would care about the damage but she couldn’t when Kara was kissing her like that. She was pretty sure that Kara broke the door handle to her bedroom when she opened it. Lena was pretty sure that Kara used super speed to get her pants off. 

Lena found herself regretting just how casual she had dressed, she hadn’t planned for this or she would have worn something well sexier. KAra didn’t mind though, she didn’t care about what Lena was wearing she only cared about making Lena feel good. Lena had known that Kara was buff but knowing and feeling were two very different things. She truly understood why people called supergirl the girl of steel. Somehow Kara was both strong and soft at the same time. 

With their rush to get to her bed Lena had expected Kara to be rough or hurried but they took their time. Slowly learning each others bodies. It was soft and caring and they could both feel the love behind it without either of them saying it out loud. It wasn’t like what Lena was used to. It wasn’t rushed it was gentle and that was something she had never really experienced. Kara treated her like she was everything, Lena only hoped that she was able to do the same for Kara. 

The next morning when she woke up, she found Kara already waiting having made her breakfast in bed. In that moment Lena knew that this is what it was supposed to be like. It was the most natural thing waking up with Kara, and begin with Kara. She already knew that Kara was ruining her for anyone else, because no one would be able to live up to how Kara made her feel. She made her feel safe, truly and fully safe.


End file.
